My private video


I woke up, still drunk, on a thrifted couch in a punk-house living room. Aaron and I shook off the sleep in the shower and when he touched me, I felt like vomiting.

He always wanted sex. I always had sex, but rarely wanted it. I submitted speed dating royal oak fell to my knees, praying for him to finish before my jaw locked.

Carbon dating and other methods was a workday and, as usual, Aaron was robbing me of the sexual energy I was saving for my johns. I finally swallowed and stood up, bruised from kneeling in the empty tub. He was something out of a fairytale — a radiant woodland creature whose innocence disturbed me.

Aaron left the bathroom to fry thick-cut bacon for Leo. I locked the door and spit blood in the sink. My reflection married dating apps iphone me.

There were silver-dollar pockets beneath my eyes and my cheeks had puffer-fished with beer bloat. Outside of the motel, Leo pointed to the pool and begged me to take him swimming.

I stumbled across the gravel walkway to the main office. There was an unspoken agreement between us. I turned on the lights and stripped down to my thrifted lingerie and heels. Professor Mike knocked at 1: Professor Mike was one of many johns with pedophilic tendencies. He loved that I was nineteen.

He called himself a prostitute connoisseur — a title born from his inability to sleep with blonde college students — and prided himself on his knowledge of sex work etiquette. He knew how to tip.

He knew when to check the clock. He knew to set the money on the table. He knew how he wanted me to suck his cock. When he finally did, feminist rules for dating my daughter, he spasmed like a water mammal. When our session ended, I returned the key to the front desk, the shame sitting on my tongue like morning breath. Aaron was parked by the dumpsters again, smiling from the front seat of the station wagon.

I blocked his lips with my hand and told him to take me to the liquor store. It was time, once again, to transform. It started as an exercise in reclaiming power over my body, giving me the role of puppet master and casting johns as my paying audience.

My brother had recently been declared a missing person, having run from the boarding school he was sent to against his will. I was accused of helping him escape.

I dropped out of Hampshire College in December and moved back to Chicago to live with my parents, whose suspicions about me continued to build. In early January, my computer disappeared from my bedroom. It was my turn to run away. I was loosely homeless for nine months. I noticed Aaron from across the room at a dumpster-dived dinner party on the first night.

He was tall, athletic, and slightly clueless — a younger replica of my father. I asked a friend about him. She said Aaron was 28, only ate meat, and had a five-year-old son. He was six feet and three inches of bad news. That night, Aaron and I had sex on the pull-out couch while our friends were on the floor a few feet away. I woke up to his shirtless torso pressed against me. I wanted to kiss and uppercut him simultaneously, but chose to override the latter urge in favor of potential protection.

He was a Clyde in need of a Bonnie. I was a child in need of a daddy. She was wearing a fanny pack around her beer belly and had tucked her dread mullet into a neon strapback hat.

When I asked her what she did for a living, she told me she had sex with men for money. She stuck her tongue in my mouth and we later had sex at her house — another punk house on the same block — while Aaron slept on a mattress in her basement. This pattern continued for months. Eventually, Beth grew attached and began crying to me after sex. She said she loved me. She begged me not to leave her bed. I began prostituting in Chicago a few weeks later under the pretense of monetary desperation.

The truth was far more Freudian. Since leaving home, I had given my body to anyone who expressed interest in it, desperate for safety and validation — for something to prove that I was alive and worth being with. Sex work felt like a natural next step. I stuck strictly to fetish work for the first few months. I sold a pair of underwear to a man in a Blockbuster parking lot, hiding an open switchblade in my sleeve. I spit in the face of an advertising executive. I peed in a cup for a man who said he would drink me with a cigar.

Sex work in Chicago felt glamorous. Johns took me to upscale hotels, bought me dinner, and gave me wine, weed angeles city dating site compliments. They respected my boundaries. When my relationship with Aaron intensified, I agreed to join him in Bloomington, despite the fact that he was homeless and mostly transient. I found Craigslist jobs immediately, both to support us and because I was chained to the rush of whoring.

When I got stuck in a dissociative muck, prostitution woke me up. Indiana men were grimy, they were fat, they smelled awful, and they were selfish. They pushed for penetrative sex, ass slapping, anal and facials. One of the Indiana men showed me the extent of my powerlessness. He was a Craigslist find who said he wanted a blowjob in his truck. We arrived early in order for him to tag the resting freight train with paint markers. When the white truck pulled up, Aaron hung back, watching me wobble across the parking lot in my strappy heels.

The man got out and said we were going in the store — that he wanted to buy me a lacy white bra. He was probably sixty years old. Probably invested in a fantasy of taking his daughter bra shopping. Probably more turned on by my childlike breasts than he wanted to admit. I shook in the checkout lane, hoping the cashier would notice my discomfort and save me. Once I complied, he turned the key and took feminist rules for dating my daughter, announcing that we were going back to his house instead of staying in the parking lot.

He unzipped his pants and placed his hand on the back of my head. I took a final look at Aaron, who was still sitting by the train tracks.

Did he wave goodbye? I was a Craigslist hustler. She was a sexual chameleon. Before jobs, we laid on the bed at the Super 8 and laughed about the fluids we were probably rolling in. Beth drew pictures of me and I counted money, feminist rules for dating my daughter, splaying the bills out on the floral comforter and grinning. We joked about previous johns, like the one whose cum shot three feet in the air, causing us to press our lips together to stifle the sound of our laughter.

I liked being someone else, concealed beneath thick, synthetic hair. If I was someone else, my real self could hover above the body that was licked and kissed and groped and broken. While johns molded me like Jell-O, I composed mental grocery lists, planned shoplifting trips, and played dead. Frum dating advice picked us up when we were done and we spent the remainder of our evenings getting drunk and high and telling stories from the day, trying to attach humor to them.

I needed to make sex work sound easy and rewarding. I played the feminist card, desperately attempting to convince myself that prostitution gave me power over myself and my body. I was my own boss. I had no pimp. I told myself I was special. I cherished my secret — it created distance between me and the people I found threatening. I was in control. I owned my own real estate.


T he year turned out to be somewhat of a rejuvenation after the comparatively weak offerings of Although Korean films did not win any major awards from top-ranked festivals in , as they had the previous year, the films themselves provided a much broader range of quality.

From large commercial releases to low-budget digital films, from action films to romantic comedies, there was more or less something for everyone in , and audiences responded with strong interest and support. Commercially, the first half of the year showed an unmistakable drop from the previous year, but a string of major box office hits followed in the second half, including Welcome to Dongmakgol , Sympathy for Lady Vengeance , Marrying the Mafia 2, You Are My Sunshine , Typhoon , and in the closing days of the year, King and the Clown.

Some government support helped to ensure that small films got released, too. Many of these releases were only on a single screen, and attendance tended to be light, however for many micro-budget films even a single screen can make a difference.

Among critics, Yoon Jong-bin's The Unforgiven received the most notice among these smaller releases, although films such as Git , Spying Cam and Geochilmaru: The Showdown had their supporters.

Most of the big news in was taking place outside of Korea, however. A wave of popularity enjoyed by Korean entertainers throughout Asia, particularly in Japan, reached new levels of intensity. The infusion of money into the film industry caused a shift in power relations, and set off some ugly public spats between producers and star management companies.

If there was bad news in , it was the dawning realization that the DVD market in Korea would never emerge into a normal, healthy industry. At the same time, however, Koreans got a glimpse of the future, with the debut of satellite and terrestrial broadcasting for mobile phones, and the promise of various new, hi-tech means of watching films set to emerge in the next few years.

Korean 83, Imported Total admissions: They are listed in the order of their release. Feathers in the Wind Sometimes small-scale, informal projects can liberate a director. Without the pressure and weighty expectations involved in producing a major work, inspiration flows freely and the result is an even more accomplished piece of art.

This may have been what happened with Git by Song Il-gon , the director of Flower Island , Spider Forest , and various award-winning short films including The Picnic Git was originally commissioned as a minute segment of the digital omnibus film 1.

Alas, the festival's expectations were confounded, first in that only Lee Young-jae's work really engaged environmental issues in a direct way the other two were merely set in rural areas , and second by the fact that Song went out and shot a minute film. As an omnibus work, 1. But if Song betrayed the spirit of the omnibus project, he remained true to the needs of his film. Git centers around a film director who, in the middle of starting his next screenplay, remembers a promise he'd made ten years earlier.

While staying on a remote southern island off Jeju-do, he and his girlfriend of the time agreed to come back and meet at the same motel exactly ten years in the future. Now, years after breaking up, he returns to the small island named Biyang-do, wondering if his ex-girlfriend will remember their appointment. It seems appropriate that Git 's basic setup recalls Richard Linklater's Before Sunset , another film that stands out for the beauty and simplicity of its construction On Biyang-do, the director -- named Jang Hyun-seong, the same as the actor who portrays him -- is overpowered with both memories of the past and the beauty of the island.

As he waits, the pressures of his work life start to recede, and he becomes acquainted with the young woman who runs the motel. Named Lee So-yeon played by -- sure enough -- actress Lee So-yeon of Untold Scandal , the woman is twelve years his junior, and possesses an unusual energy and enthusiasm.

Although the general path followed by the plot is pretty straightforward, Song leads us down many odd and fascinating detours. There is So-yeon's uncle, a middle-aged man with bleached blonde hair who hasn't spoken since his wife abandoned him. A peacock appears on the island, with no clear explanation or motivation. And the tango, a very un-Korean pasttime, makes a striking appearance in the film.

In Song's other works, such elements sometimes feel forced or self-consciously arty, but here they blend with the otherworldly presence of the island and add a sense of mystery. Git which means either a triangular flag or "feather" in Korean is surprising in several respects. One is that such a low-budget film looks so good visually. In Flower Island , Song showed an unusual talent for the aesthetics of digital cinema, but here he takes it one step further.

To capture a natural setting so well on a medium that often feels cold and sterile is an unusual accomplishment. The relaxed, convincing performances of the actors also deserve notice. Lee So-yeon makes her slightly thin character memorable through considerable screen presence, while Jang Hyun-seong of independent films Nabi and Rewind gives the performance of his career. Whatever we feel about the character he portrays, Jang's performance is so real and natural that we can't help but be drawn to him.

In a year that has been lacking in unexpected discoveries, Git is an exciting find. At its rousing premiere at the Green Film Festival in Seoul, a prominent Korean film critic told me it may be the best romance Korea has ever produced.

One hopes that it will be liberated from the other two segments of 1. At 70 minutes, it is a perfectly respectable length for a stand-alone feature film, and this is a movie that deserves to travel. The controversy of The President's Last Bang was being played out in the courtrooms and in the entertainment news. The collapse of the PiFan Film Festival was a hot topic and the hype surrounding the impending release of Another Public Enemy was overwhelming.

Almost missed among all that was a quiet film directed by a virtual unknown but starring the talented Jo Seung-woo. The media found it interesting as 'a story of human triumph' but most people seemed certain that Kang Woo-suk's feature would dominate the box office.

That all changed however, after Marathon had its press screening. It was reported immediately after in numerous newspapers that the journalists in attendance applauded long and hard following the press screening and that most of them were in tears.

The question and answer session with the director and lead actors that was held after the showing went on for much longer than anyone was accustomed to. Most questions had to do with how Jo Seung-woo was able to convincingly take on the role of an autistic young man. What followed next was a powerful nine-week run in the domestic box office where the film eventually went on to gather more than 5 million viewers. Although it did open in the number two seat slightly behind Another Public Enemy , word of mouth soon launched it into the number one position during its second week.

More and more newspapers began to compare its success with that of another sleeper hit, The Way Home , but Marathon soon out-performed that movie as well.

Much of the credit for the success of Marathon falls squarely on the shoulders of Jo Seung-woo. His performance is worthy of the considerable praise that has been heaped on it. Jo convincingly becomes Cho-won, a young man born with autism. In his younger days, Cho-won was prone to tantrums and violence against himself, but the special school his mother enrolled him in and the different athletic activities she taught him eventually helped Cho-won to cope with the world around him.

After he takes third place in a 10km marathon, his mother sets her goals for her son to run a full km marathon in under four hours. However, it is uncertain whether or not Cho-won shares her dreams or if he is just doing what he is told because, as his brother puts it, he is incapable of rebelling against his mother. Kim Mi-sook does an outstanding job as a mother spurred on to never give up on her son, through a mixture of fiercely defensive love and an enormous amount of guilt.

She skillfully brings Cho-won's mother, Kyeong-sook, to life as a flawed protector of her son. Her obsession to make up for her past failings with Cho-won lead her to virtually ignore the needs of the rest of her family, which succeeds in driving them away emotionally and physically.

When asked by a swimming instructor if she has any wish for herself, she replies that she wishes to die a day after Cho-won. Kyeong-suk believes if that were to happen, she would be able to take care of her son for his entire life, but her motives for saying that are later thrown back in her face, and she is accused of needing Cho-won to stay with her more than her son needs her.

Mentioned at the end of the movie is the fact that the characters of Cho-won and his mother are based on real people. Cho-won was inspired by Bae Hyeong-jin. Just years old at the time of this film's release, Hyeong-jin had already participated in several marathons and a triathlon.

He has since gone on to become somewhat of a celebrity, appearing on talk shows and even having a line of TV commercials with SK Telecom. Described as 'having a mind of a five-year old', Mr. Bae is an accomplished athlete and many of the events of his childhood are depicted accurately on screen.

His mother involved him in many physical activities which he seemed to enjoy as a form of therapy, and had him keep a journal. It is from here that the misspelled Korean title of the movie originated. While he had directed a couple of short films prior to Marathon , the last being in , Jeong had more recently worked as an editor for the film Three and as an art director for Wonderful Days. After this emotionally-charged runaway hit, it seems likely that we will be seeing more from him in the near future.

Although Korea has changed beyond recognition in the 25 years since Kim Jae-gyu pulled the trigger, Park's legacy remains an unresolved question for much of the Korean populace.

Complicating the matter, Park's daughter now leads Korea's centre-right opposition party, ensuring that the historically themed Last Bang would be read as a comment on the present as well as the past.

The film itself has got somewhat lost in the controversy surrounding its release, at which time a judge from the Seoul Central Court ordered that four minutes of documentary footage be removed, since it might "confuse" viewers as to what is fact and what is fiction.

The footage -- clips of anti-government protests shown at the film's opening, and images from Park's funeral that accompany the end credits -- were important to the overall work, and the four minutes of black screen which appear in their place leave the audience with an altogether different viewing experience. Many have viewed Last Bang as a bit of character assassination aimed at the late President Park.

An observant reader on the Koreanfilm. The most offensive bits may actually sneak past the radar of many foreign viewers: Just why Park's fondness for things Japanese should be so controversial requires a short history lesson, but suffice it to say that he is being portrayed as being associated and aligned with Korea's former colonizers.

Personally, I love the George Bush analogy and I agree that director Im was out to settle a few scores with the many admirers of the former president. However I can't accept that this is the film's key purpose. If that were the case, there would be no reason to structure the film in the unusual way it is put together.

Namely, the emotional climax -- Kim blowing Park's brains out -- occurs not at the end, but halfway through the film. As much of the plot is devoted to what happens after the event, as to what comes before.

Few filmmakers adopt such a strategy, though Atom Egoyan's The Sweet Hereafter comes to mind as another example of a film with its emotional climax in the middle, rather than the end.

The unusual structure has opened Last Bang up to criticism, with many maintaining that the work loses its energy or focus in the second half. The result for me, however, is to make it much more of a thinking film than an emotional film.

And I maintain that there is enough going on here to justify it as an object of study. I should also note here in fairness to the director that the documentary footage that is meant to be screened over the end credits does pack a complex emotional punch.

Without it, the film's ending is emotionally monotone. I read Last Bang as a film about history. Of course, it covers a specific historical incident, and also tries to capture the mindset of an authoritarian nation the press kit calls it a film about "when a military society turns the gun on itself".

But most of all, this is a film about a small group of individuals who consciously decide to change history. To what extent can an individual, or a small group of people, really do that?


On giving up control while maintaining my power. I am a female employee in my late 20s working for a large Fortune U.S. company. My boss is in his early 40s and is a father of two. His oldest is a 15 year old girl. My boss often tells me, totally unsolicited, that his daughter is “very attractive,” a “perfect tall blonde,” and “so. My international friends from university asked me today to explain how dating works in Sweden. Apparently they have trouble getting into the rules of the Swedish dating game.

Osborne My modern version of prostitution was fun, easy and body-positive—until it wasn’t. My international friends from university asked me today to explain how dating works in Sweden. Apparently they have trouble getting into the rules of the Swedish dating game.